I Thought So - A Book of Epigrams

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About the author
Art, collages, mirrors, masks, sculpture, insanity.
I sit at the feet of the masters
A small plate of epigrams
Qanats In America (work in progress)
Anything Is Possible (work in progress)
It's A War Out There! (work in progress)
A Memorial To Bob (work in progress)
How To Start A Sleazy Plumbing Company (some hacker must have inserted this!)
Rudeness And Other Business Opportunities (work in progress)
Nobody Loves A Snitch, and Other Human Resources Management Matters (work in progress)
The Residential Theory Of Relativity (work in progress)
Prometheus Drenched (work in progress)
Death Of A Wholesaler
The Apology (work in progress)
We think and we link
Read nine chapters from my work in progress: Kitchen Sink Confidential. The world of the plumber, from the ancient world to your kitchen sink. The craft, the business, the pride, the crimes, the traditions. 

I Thought So - Volume 2 Another book of original epigrams.

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A book of original epigrams by Michael Lipsey.
Distilled wisdom in the tradition of Mark Twain, H.L. Mencken, Epictetus, Samuel Johnson and La Rochefoucauld. If you love epigrams and quotations, you'll be delighted by the original mind at work here. If you enjoy seeing things from a different angle, then this is the book for you -- or the perfect gift for a friend who likes to discuss life's larger questions: living and dying, love, work and play, religion, science, health and manners...


You can buy this book at:


Barnes & Noble.com


Cypress House.com

"See everything for the first time."

"Forget anything your friends would rather you forgot."

"Try to weigh yourself on a day when gravity is not too high."

"America is divided between those who love lawns and those who love grass."

"You can't drop a tattoo off at the thrift shop when it goes out of style."

"The problem of evil sticks in the craw of religion like a fishbone."

"There isn't always sex, but there is always chocolate."

                   “The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.”
                                                    Joseph Campbell

                              Chapter on Manners.

It is easy to forgive an insult, but harder to forget one.

Gossip slithers into my ear; may it die there.

Don’t worry what people think about you, because they rarely do.

Have sympathy for any personality defect, except cynicism.

We sink financially in order to rise socially.

Difficult people are like potholes: there is nothing to do but go around them.

The cell phone has exhausted all conversational possibilities, and still people are chattering everywhere, about nothing.

Hide your intensity, or it will scare people.

An angry face is never a pretty face.

Some people tend their grudges as others tend their gardens.

When we socialize we observe, gossip, schmooze and keep score, and on the way home we compare notes wth our partner in our researches.

We do not like to believe that we deserve to be anyone’s enemy.

People who always speak their minds have their fans, but they are few.

Other people are often quite boring, but we are never boring.

Good character expands your circle of acquaintance and poor character shrinks it.

Some people are always at a simmer, ready to boil over.

The wine you serve your guests is of no consequence compared to the topic you serve.

If you are a fast-talker you want to pick up a slow talker and shake him.

The best method of dealing with difficult people is the distance method.

We feel slighted when not invited, even to a very boring social event.

Your travels, your possessions, and your health...is this the drab inventory of your conversation?
Even a softly spoken insinuation does not escape our hearing.

One must endure a monologue, but one does not have to listen to it.

A complainer complains as naturally as a bird sings.

The last people to arrive are the ones who always seem to be in a hurry.

If people said what was actually on their minds twice as often, the murder rate would double.

Bad table manners ruin more careers than incompetence.

A good listener has no idea what you are about to say.

There is nothing ruder than to be a guest who is obviously not having a good time.

There is no such thing as an impatient listener, because there is no listening without patience.

Easy to say far more than you intended to when you are being amusing.

Ever heard of anyone being admired for being a gossip?

A difficult person does not have an easy life.

Don’t try to build bridges with people who burn them.

Speech increases in flavor as you descend in society.

You would be less rude to telemarketers if you considered how unfortunate it is to be one.

The juicier the gossip the more it diminishes the teller.

Why do kindly people usually look that way?

Never begin your thanks with “You shouldn’t have...”

Angry people are most alive when in a rage.

We have an absolute right to mind our own business.

To simply be a nice person is no small achievement.

I see a crying infant in the face of the angry man.

One doesn’t just become an old bore, one must serve one’s time as a young bore.

Some people would rather lose the relationship than the argument.

The essence of manners is tact, which few can master.

“I always tell it like it is” is the long way of saying “I’m a jerk.”

Remember only your own stupidity.

Sarcasm and cynicism are easy,  but irony is mastered by few.

A party to fulfill social obligations is not a party, it is a ceremony.

To appear confident is almost as good as actually being confident.

Don’t make a pretense of modesty by denigrating praise.

A proper elevator expression is friendly but neutral.

You never really get to know a taciturn person.

A braying laugh betrays humble origins, despite layers of refinement laid on like frosting.

It is a rare privilege to encounter greatness -- unless the great one happens to be in a foul mood, jetlagged, or half-drunk.

If you could meet your great-great-great grandfather, you probably would find him very smelly.

If you don’t want to raise bigots, consider what comes out of your mouth.

An apology that is followed with a justification is no apology at all.

Never tell anyone who is proudly displaying a new possession that you know where they could have gotten it for less.

Good manners can be taught, but not the warmth of spirit that gives them meaning.


You can buy this book at:


Barnes & Noble.com

Cypress House.com

Powells Books.com

  • Publisher: Lost Coast Press; 1st edition January 2008)
  • Paperback: 160 pages $11.95
  • ISBN-10: 1882897943
  • ISBN-13: 978-1882897940