Read nine chapters from my work in progress: Kitchen Sink Confidential. The world of the plumber, from the ancient world
to your kitchen sink. The craft, the business, the pride, the crimes, the traditions.
I Thought So - Volume 2 Another book of original epigrams.
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A book of original epigrams by Michael Lipsey.
wisdom in the tradition of Mark Twain, H.L. Mencken, Epictetus, Samuel Johnson and La Rochefoucauld. If you love epigrams
and quotations, you'll be delighted by the original mind at work here. If you enjoy seeing things from a different angle,
then this is the book for you -- or the perfect gift for a friend who likes to discuss life's larger questions: living
and dying, love, work and play, religion, science, health and manners...
You can buy this book at:
Barnes & Noble.com
"See everything for the first time."
"Forget anything your friends would rather you forgot."
"Try to weigh yourself on a day when gravity is not too high."
"America is divided between those who love lawns and those who love
"You can't drop a
tattoo off at the thrift shop when it goes out of style."
"The problem of evil sticks in the craw of religion like a fishbone."
isn't always sex, but there is always chocolate."
privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.”
Chapter on Manners.
It is easy to forgive an insult, but harder to forget one.
Gossip slithers into
my ear; may it die there.
Don’t worry what people think about you, because they rarely do.
sympathy for any personality defect, except cynicism.
We sink financially in order to rise socially.
people are like potholes: there is nothing to do but go around them.
The cell phone has exhausted all conversational
possibilities, and still people are chattering everywhere, about nothing.
Hide your intensity, or it will scare
An angry face is never a pretty face.
Some people tend their grudges as others tend their gardens.
When we socialize we observe, gossip, schmooze and keep score, and on the way home we compare notes wth our partner
in our researches.
We do not like to believe that we deserve to be anyone’s enemy.
always speak their minds have their fans, but they are few.
Other people are often quite boring, but we are never
Good character expands your circle of acquaintance and poor character shrinks it.
are always at a simmer, ready to boil over.
The wine you serve your guests is of no consequence compared to the
topic you serve.
If you are a fast-talker you want to pick up a slow talker and shake him.
method of dealing with difficult people is the distance method.
We feel slighted when not invited, even to a very
boring social event.
Your travels, your possessions, and your health...is this the drab inventory of your conversation?
Even a softly spoken insinuation does not escape our hearing.
One must endure a monologue, but
one does not have to listen to it.
A complainer complains as naturally as a bird sings.
The last people
to arrive are the ones who always seem to be in a hurry.
If people said what was actually on their minds twice
as often, the murder rate would double.
Bad table manners ruin more careers than incompetence.
listener has no idea what you are about to say.
There is nothing ruder than to be a guest who is obviously not
having a good time.
There is no such thing as an impatient listener, because there is no listening without patience.
Easy to say far more than you intended to when you are being amusing.
Ever heard of anyone being admired
for being a gossip?
A difficult person does not have an easy life.
Don’t try to build bridges
with people who burn them.
Speech increases in flavor as you descend in society.
You would be less
rude to telemarketers if you considered how unfortunate it is to be one.
The juicier the gossip the more it diminishes
Why do kindly people usually look that way?
Never begin your thanks with “You shouldn’t
Angry people are most alive when in a rage.
We have an absolute right to mind our own
To simply be a nice person is no small achievement.
I see a crying infant in the face of the
One doesn’t just become an old bore, one must serve one’s time as a young bore.
Some people would rather lose the relationship than the argument.
The essence of manners is tact, which few can
“I always tell it like it is” is the long way of saying “I’m a jerk.”
Remember only your own stupidity.
Sarcasm and cynicism are easy, but irony is mastered by few.
A party to fulfill social obligations is not a party, it is a ceremony.
To appear confident is almost
as good as actually being confident.
Don’t make a pretense of modesty by denigrating praise.
proper elevator expression is friendly but neutral.
You never really get to know a taciturn person.
braying laugh betrays humble origins, despite layers of refinement laid on like frosting.
It is a rare privilege
to encounter greatness -- unless the great one happens to be in a foul mood, jetlagged, or half-drunk.
could meet your great-great-great grandfather, you probably would find him very smelly.
If you don’t want
to raise bigots, consider what comes out of your mouth.
An apology that is followed with a justification is no
apology at all.
Never tell anyone who is proudly displaying a new possession that you know where they could have
gotten it for less.
Good manners can be taught, but not the warmth of spirit that gives them meaning.